


only need the light when it's burning low

by Spannah339



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I do not know how to tag this - Freeform, Kinda, Nightmares, also other jnor members are mentioned/in it briefly, i just wanted jaune and tai bonding okay, turned out to be a kinda sequel to one i wrote after 4.2 came out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27098668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spannah339/pseuds/Spannah339
Summary: “Can’t sleep?”He started at the voice behind him, spinning, weapon up, breathing heavily. Taiyang leaned against the doorway, arms folded casually, a small smile on his face.Jaune let out a long breath, lowering Corcea Mors and shrugging sheepishly.“Sorry, I uh - didn’t mean to wake you,” he said. Taiyang grinned, pushing himself away from the house.“Nah, it’s fine,” he said. “I couldn’t sleep either. Tea?”
Relationships: Jaune Arc & Taiyang Xiao Long, Jaune Arc/Pyrrha Nikos
Kudos: 16





	only need the light when it's burning low

**Author's Note:**

> *waves hand* set in a time when everyone is just hangin' at the Xiao Long-Rose house who cares about canon.   
> Title is cos I didn't have any and was listening to that song while editing this and it kinda fit.

Jaune woke with a silent gasp, heart thumping in his chest, hair sweat-slicked to his brow. The adrenalin rushing through his system took a moment to fade as he slowly came back to reality, as the soft darkness of the room wrapped around him. 

He settled back into his bed, closing his eyes and keeping his breathing even, trying to calm down again. It was almost  _ too _ quiet, after the violence of his dream, but the breathing of his teammates slowly calmed him. Nora, loud and almost grating. Ren, slow and even. Oscar, soft and almost unnoticeable. They settled his jarred nerves, reminded him that he was with his team, that they were all here, that he was home. 

But the lingering panic of the dream hadn’t fully left and Jaune couldn’t sleep. He sat up, needing to make sure he could  _ see _ them, eyes roaming over the other beds in the room. Nora was sprawled across her bed, mouth open, one arm flung out towards Ren. Ren was curled under his blankets, breathing evenly, one hand slipping off the side of the bed towards Nora. Oscar was curled on the bed beside Jaune’s, tucked in a tight ball. 

They were here. They were safe. Jaune sighed, pulling his legs up and wrapping his arms around them. There was an aching emptiness in his chest, and unnoticed tears were pricking at his eyes. 

They weren’t all here. 

He had lain awake in the dorm room at Beacon enough to know this chorus was different. Oscar’s soft breaths were comforting, but they weren’t the same. 

He pressed the heel of his hands to his eyes, taking a shaking breath and trying to fight down the bubbling tears that refused to be calmed. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. The dark room, similar in many respects to Beacon, but different. The breathing of his teammates, similar but different. Silently, he slipped off his bed, padding softly to the door and slipped out. 

The house was quiet - it was likely the middle of the night after all, and Jaune was usually one of the last to go to bed. He wasn’t really sure where he was going, just softly padded down the stairs. 

Their weapons were piled by the door - Taiyang had joked they should probably make an armoury with all their equipment. Jaune nudged Crescent Rose and one half of StormFlower aside to uncover Crocea Mors, feeling a little better with the familiar weight on his arm. 

He stood, slipping the door open and stepping outside. 

In the months after the fall of Beacon, his nightmares had been worse. He had barely been able to sleep, every time he closed his eyes he was only reminded of what had happened - of what he  _ couldn’t _ do. Training had helped, pushing himself to his limits until he was too exhausted to stay awake. 

Pushing himself to never let anyone else down again. 

He hadn’t needed to do that for a long time. But the way his hands were shaking as he drew his sword told him that the nightmares were not gone for good. 

Taking a deep breath he stepped away from the house and slipped into the familiar beginning stance. It was easy, easy to lose himself to the familiar drill, the simple movements he had gone through a thousand times before. Easy to focus on his arm slicing through the air, his shield held up, his feet stepping forward and back. 

Easy to forget, for just a moment. 

“Can’t sleep?” 

He started at the voice behind him, spinning, weapon up, breathing heavily. Taiyang leaned against the doorway, arms folded casually, a small smile on his face. 

Jaune let out a long breath, lowering Corcea Mors and shrugging sheepishly. 

“Sorry, I uh - didn’t mean to wake you,” he said. Taiyang grinned, pushing himself away from the house. 

“Nah, it’s fine,” he said. “I couldn’t sleep either. Tea?” 

Jaune hesitated, adjusting his grip on his sword. Then he slid it back into the shield and nodded. He wasn’t achieving anything out here anyway - maybe tea would help. 

“Sure,” he said, walking back towards the house. Taiyang vanished inside as he neared, and Jaune followed a few seconds later, almost tripping over Myrtenaster as he did. 

“We really need to find a better place for those,” Taiyang called from the kitchen and Jaune grinned slightly, laying his own weapon against the wall. 

Taiyang was pulling mugs out of a cupboard as Jaune entered the kitchen, hesitating a little awkwardly in the doorway. 

“How do you take it?” Taiyang asked as he waited for the water to boil. 

“Uh, two sugars,” Jaune said. He sifted his feet, unsure if he should offer to help or not. 

“Almost as bad as Ruby,” Taiyang muttered, retrieving sugar from a cupboard and Jaune had to grin slightly. 

“She drinks tea?” he asked. Taiyang grinned. 

“Not often - but when she does she loads it with sugar. Has coffee the same way.” 

“Yeah, I noticed,” Jaune said with a small smile, remembering the faces Ruby would make when they had coffee around the campfire in Mistral. 

“Sometimes I think I raised a monster,” Taiyang said, humour in his voice as he handed Jaune a mug. Jaune followed the older man to the table, feeling a little more at ease with the mug in his hand and something to focus on. 

His smile faded quickly as the lingering fog of grief threatened to overtake him again. He sipped from the tea, trying to hide exactly what he was feeling from Taiyang.

“Any particular reason you couldn’t sleep?” Taiyang asked, and when Jaune looked up he was watching him closely. With a long sigh, Jaune shrugged, looking back down, the steam from his mug warming his face. 

“What it always is,” he said quietly. “Dreams, nightmares. Regrets.” 

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to have this conversation, but he was too tired, too wrung out to really care. The tea was warm after the cool night air, and daytime rules of hiding emotions didn’t count at 3 am when everyone else was asleep. 

Taiyang nodded softly, humming slightly. When Jaune looked up at him there was understanding in his eyes. 

“They… get better,” he said finally. “Never fully go away, but…” He sighed, trailing off, and Jaune was suddenly reminded that he had lost two women he loved. He was watching his daughters follow in their footsteps, face the same risks they had. 

If anyone understood grief it was Taiyang Xiao Long. 

A silence fell over the kitchen and Jaune took another sip of his tea.

“I couldn’t save her,” he said finally, the words escaping almost unbidden. “I - maybe if I had been stronger. Better. If I had just…” He trailed off, taking a deep breath, fighting down the pricking of tears again. “What if I’m too weak next time as well?” 

Taiyang was quiet for a long time, staring into his tea. Finally, he looked up. 

“When Raven left, I kept trying to figure out what I had done wrong, constantly wondered if something I had done drove her away. When Summer left…” He sighed, pausing, finding the words. “I... thought much the same. Maybe if I had gone with her, she’d be okay. Maybe if I’d done something different the girls would still have a mother.” He met Jaune’s eyes and smiled softly. “They both made their own choice. I can’t change that.”

Jaune knew that. He knew he couldn’t have stopped Pyrrha no matter how hard he tried. He knew if he had gone with her he would have died as well. 

But sometimes those thoughts were harder to remember at 3 am in the morning, the shadows of his dream still clinging to the edges of his mind. 

“You’re not weak, Jaune. And I’ve seen how you watch out for your team. I can’t promise that they’re going to be okay, but if you stick together you have a good chance. It gets easier.” 

“I know,” Jaune said quietly. “I just…” He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Sometimes he feared he would forget what she looked like, forget her smile, forget the stolen moment of bliss when she had kissed him amid the panic and terror of that night. “I miss her.” 

Taiyang chuckled softly. 

“Yeah, that - that never goes away.” He shifted, lifting his mug and leaning back in the chair. “You’re a good man, Jaune - your team loves you. Don’t forget that.” 

Jaune nodded, taking a long sip from his mug. A yawn broke across his face as he lowered his mug and he blinked in surprise, aware of how exhausted he was. 

“Thank you,” he said finally. Taiyang nodded, smiling. 

“Tea and a talk - Summer always said that was the best cure for insomnia. And cookies, but I’m afraid I can’t offer that at the moment.”

Jaune smiled slightly, sensing a slight change in the atmosphere of the night. 

“Maybe I’ll make some with Ren and Oscar tomorrow,” he said. Taiyang raised an eyebrow. 

“Not sure if it’s much point, they’ll vanish too quickly.” 

“I grew up with seven sisters and have Nora as a teammate, I know how to fight for a cookie,” Jaune said. 

“I don’t think you’ve ever had stood between Ruby and the last cookie before.” 

“That is a fight I am willing to lose.” 

“Ha, you’d have to,” Taiyang said. “She’s not one to give up easily when it comes to cookies.” 

Ten minutes later, Jaune slipped quietly upstairs. The room was still as he had left it, Nora’s snores comforting as he carefully closed the door behind him. For a moment, he stood in the dim room, watching his teammates sleep. 

“Jaune?” 

Ren’s voice was soft and Jaune blinked, making out his brother pushing himself up in the dim light. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Jaune said slowly. “I am now.” 


End file.
